A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Top....

You know that saying, “It’s lonely at the top.” I’m not even at the top yet, and it’s a lonely journey. Really, it should be it’s lonely deciding to get to the top, it’s lonely on the journey to top, and it’s lonely at the top.

Almost a year ago, I was fortunate enough to have an opportunity presented to me by two people, who are now my business partners. They could see the entrepreneurial spark in me and offered an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. We founded our company, Byte Payment, a payment solutions provider for businesses.

It’s been a tough road to forge, as other entrepreneurs know. I’ve embraced every moment of it – the long hours, the victories, the disappointments, the disagreements – all of it. Because this was what I was meant to be: an entrepreneur. What I didn’t foresee is the distance that slowly built between my friends and me. My friends – not the casual acquaintances, but people I considered good friends, with whom I shared outings, laughs, stories, and life’s moments. I always strived to be a good friend, by being there when they needed me, whether it was a shoulder to cry on, as a sounding board, babysitting their kids…things that friends do for one another. I gave of my time, my affection, my attention, because it’s in my nature to give. And that is what friends do.

My goal has always been to be an entrepreneur. It was just a matter of finding the right thing or things. I’d started a business a few years ago, in photography. It didn’t work out and I went back into the corporate world for a bit. But I learned a lot from that failed first experience. Yes, it was a failure, and that is what drives success. Learn from the failures and mistakes, and don’t repeat. One of my favorite quotes is from the great Michael Jordan: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

When we founded our company last year, I was more prepared this time around. I was also on more solid ground, because my partners had been successful with their own company, so I had built-in mentors and advisers. What I wasn’t prepared for was the doubt and negativity from my own friends. MY FRIENDS. Yes, the photography business failed. It wasn’t the right thing for me, and if I didn’t take that shot, I wouldn’t have known. I don’t want to regret NOT doing something, not taking that shot, not taking that chance. Quitting my dream would be the biggest failure of all.

One of the most hurtful things happened, when I told a friend with whom I have a 20-year friendship, that we were starting a business and I was leaving my employer. I didn’t get a “good for you for going after your dream” or “that’s awesome, I support you.” The response I got was an “Oookkkk…are you sure about this?” If I’d said that I was moving companies and had a new job, I would’ve probably received more support! I wasn’t happy anymore just making a paycheck and benefitting the top executives of my company. That hadn’t made me happy for a long time. I was very disappointed that this long-time friend couldn’t see or understand that.

Over the course of the last year, others have fallen off as well. I’d always prided myself on having a larger circle of friends, different people with differing personalities. This circle is no longer. Thankfully, the sister and two of the cousins have been phenomenally supportive. Also, a couple of friends from the Chronicle days. These women are like sisters and if they haven’t heard from me in awhile, they call to see if I’m OK, to offer words of encouragement, or just to talk. They understand that I need to put in long hours, that we may not be able to get together or go out as often right now, that a simple phone call is enough. Also thankfully, I’ve met a great group of people via social media, who have offered more support than the ‘real friends.’ Many of them are entrepreneurs or they truly get why I am one. Funny, how that works.

I understand making a phone call goes both ways…right now, I’m being a bit selfish and wanting friends to initiate the call, just to see how I’m doing and offer a few words of encouragement and support. A phone call forces me to take a break and spend some time in happy conversation. It’s OK. The distance has grown and I know the people on whom I can count. I’ve accepted the journey to the top.