Live Like You Are Leaving...

I’m reminded this morning that tomorrow (27 October) will be 2 years since my friend, Brenda, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. And tears come from me that I did not expect to still have. Brenda and I met while participating in ‘Team in Training’ with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, in what seems like a lifetime ago. She was easygoing, intelligent, beautiful, and just someone I wanted to be friends with. By the time the marathon came around, she was pregnant with her and Joe’s first child, Claire – it was still early in the pregnancy and she didn’t tell any of us. She ran that damn marathon! And then told us. Of course, I was in amazement….but that was Brenda, I learned.

I moved away from Austin and their family grew to include a second child, Ava. Eventually, Joe’s career took them to other parts of the U.S. and then other parts of the world. We stayed in touch periodically and I always looked forward to her Christmas photo and letter, keeping friends & family up-to-date on their adventures. Thank goodness for the advent of Facebook, so that we could keep in touch – so I could peek in on their lives rather and see how they were all doing. Their family landed in England and it was my plan to visit. That plan never came to fruition, because I kept putting it off. I would say to myself, I don’t have enough time with the job; I can’t spend that money right now.

One morning, I received a message on Facebook from a good friend of Brenda’s asking me to call, that something had happened. It was not a good feeling I had, reading that message. So I called and found out that this beautiful, vivacious, adventurous soul had passed away. I was in shock, because she was the picture of health and very active. I didn’t understand it. How could someone SO young die? I didn’t even have the words to comfort her husband and her girls. I didn’t know what to say.

Over the course of the next few weeks, family and friends celebrated Brenda’s life. Joe’s beautiful, beautiful, loving eulogy was posted for all to read. It truly was a celebration of her life and the fact that we each had her in our lives, no matter how much or how long, we’d had a chance to be part of it. I loved that, while her loss was grieved, the legacy that she left behind would not go unnoticed, untended, or forgotten. I loved the fact that her family kept her Facebook page up, and that I could see photos of their lovely daughters growing and moving forward. I loved that Joe has continued Brenda’s tradition of sending a photo and a note at Christmas.

This morning, a cute photo of the girls was posted along with the message that Joe and their girls continue to celebrate Brenda and are inspired by these words, which are on her headstone:

Brenda’s Beliefs

Motherhood.

Faith. Family. Travel.

Live Like You Are Leaving

Coffee. Wine. Chocolate.

This has made me shed tears….for loss of a life too young, but also because I am reminded that we need to live like we are leaving. And more often than not, we don’t.