Stuck in neutral...need a tow

I've been a little off kilter this week...and what makes me so mad at myself, is that I allowed myself to be thrown off kilter by another person. Granted, this person is a close relative and that may be the reason for how this affected me. Usually I try not to air any dysfunctional family stuff but thought that writing about it might be cathartic.

I won't go into all the gory details but suffice it to say, that this person voiced an opinion, which I'd already known in the back of my mind, was probably what she thought of me. But it was still hurtful to have those thoughts transformed into solid words. Very hurtful. And granted I understand, in the heat of anger, one tends to lash out and say things to hurt others. I try really hard not to do that...if I'm in an argument I try to stick to the issue at hand and the facts. Trust me, I know I've thrown some zingers out there, but I hope that none of them were ever this low or that I even have it within me to go this low.

This incident has, literally, taken the joy out of this past week for me...and I'm still feeling the effects. And still mad at myself for feeling this way...LOL. Vicious cycle. Those who know me well, know that I'm able to shake things off fairly quickly. Through painful experience, I've learned that you need to let go of the anger and the bitterness, because those two demons only hurt one person: YOU. It doesn't hurt the person or people at whom the anger is directed, because ya know what, they probably don't know and/or don't care and have moved on. So you need to move on. That's my philosophy.

But I'm stuck in neutral gear on this one...at least for now, and I need -- I want -- to move forward and beyond this thing. And I'm not sure how to go about doing this, which only adds to the frustration at myself. Perhaps I need to just let go and allow myself to go through the anger and hurt, so that I can come out at the end, me again. In reality, I will get past this but it will always color my relationship with this relative, which was tenuous, at best, prior to this. Funny thing is, this person opined that I speak before I think...if only she had done that.