Coffee, anyone?

I think I have this dating thing down to a science now...LOL. Or at least my friend, Rosemary, thinks so. :-)
A first-time meeting is for coffee or drinks...ONLY! Cause if we don't like each other or the chemistry isn't there (mostly if I don't like the guy...lol), no need to prolong the agony by waiting for a meal to end. And no need to ruin a good meal either!

A week ago today, I had a coffee date. He'd made several attempts and pleas to meet for dinner, thinking that saying things like "you're too cute to eat alone" would change my mind. Not happening, buddy! Little did he know just how stubborn and persistent I can be. :-) He left the meeting spot up to me...decided on Panera in Pearland, which was a halfway point for us. And it was a nice public place. Need to add this little note: I wasn't overly impressed by this guy's profile on match.com, but I'd decided that I needed to be more open-minded (to a certain extent!) and at least meet in person. Some people may not present themselves well in writing. So we met for coffee...

And I was not incorrect in my initial assessment from the online profile!!! I wasn't physically attracted to him and things went south from there. I have this obsession (OK, so maybe obsession is too strong of a word...fixation, perhaps??) with teeth. I don't have perfect teeth, nor am I looking for perfect teeth. I do, however, want to see that you've been taking care of your teeth...you know, stuff like, brushing, cleaning, regular dental visits. This guy's teeth were...how shall I put this....JACKED UP! No wonder he needed the big-ass mustache. He was definitely not my speed -- I'm at 90 mph, and he was in the school zone. (My friend, Kristen, usually likes to ask, can he keep up with you? When I'm describing a new person I've encountered...she knows me well. LOL) He was quite content in his homebody world and described himself as "too lazy" to go anywhere. Really??? That's supposed to impress me?? Guess he overlooked the part in my profile that states I love to try new things, whether it's a new place to eat/see or a new activity. I have lazy days, but that is not the norm for me.

I consider myself to have a strong work ethic...I work hard whether it benefits me solely or my team, or the company. It's just the right thing to do. Asked this guy about his work and he proceeds to tell me how he & his co-workers don't really like it when they are called upon to help each other. If another person goes to do work on one of his accounts, that person does a half-assed job...and he'd do the same with someone else's client. Wow. I forget that there are people out there who do the minimum, no more, no less.

And for the finale, I asked if he had any children, because he'd been married previously. His answer? Not really. ?????  I was confused at first and thought perhaps, he'd not heard my question correctly. So, I asked again, do you have any children? The answer again was, "Not really." The explanation? He has one child, a son, with whom he isn't close, nor does he know where his son is. What????  He outright said, well, he doesn't care about me and I don't care about him. Again, wow. This all stemmed from a prolonged and ugly custody battle when his son was a young child. He only knew that his son was over 18, because the child support had stopped being deducted from his paycheck. I don't care how ugly or nasty your divorce is, your child or children should never be the victims and should never have to wonder if their parents love them. This spoke volumes to me about his character and I was ready to RUN out of there.

Needless to say, it wasn't too long after that bit of conversation, when I ended the "interview." Said I was ready to go, shook hands, and said see ya.

And that, my friends, is why I insist on coffee or drinks first.

Vegas, baby!

I haven't fallen off the blog wagon again...lol! Just returned from vacation! In Vegas. :-) It was my 40th birthday gift to myself. I know you're thinking, didn't she say her 40th was last October? It was...I'm celebrating ALL year, remember? Hee, hee...

Originally, I wanted to go to Greece, but it was such an expensive trip that I couldn't ask my friends to make that kind of investment. So we decided on Vegas a few months ago and boy, am I glad we did!! (Not to mention all the instability and volatility in Greece recently.) When Vegas became the designated destination, I set out to make it a trip like I wanted to have the FIRST time I went to Vegas a few years ago. Two of my friends were also Vegas virgins, so I wanted them to have an awesome time for their first time..unlike me. :) I wanted shows and fine dining...and I think we succeeded in that goal!

Traveling with friends is a gamble at times....you could be the best of friends, but may not travel well together. You know what I'm talking about! LOL So it was me and 5 of my good friends, plus my sister and her friends. I only saw the sister and her friends at a few outings, which we were quite OK with.

Turns out my friends and I do travel well together....or at least, I thought so! We had a GREAT time, dining our way through Vegas, and catching as many shows as possible. Cirque du Soleil's KA...the Blue Man Group...Jubilee!...dining at TAO, Wolfgang Puck's, Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill, Emeril's New Orleans Fish House, Pink's...man, do I have to the hit the gym religiously now! I'm glad that I indulged and enjoyed myself. Life is too short! And I'm so glad that my friends & I now have these memories together!

Our next destination together?? NYC

Practice Keeps Perfect

Even though she’d requested that her grandfather take the training wheels off her bicycle, my niece was extremely frustrated when she started riding and couldn’t quite get the hang of it yet. She even went as far as to say she wanted the training wheels put back on. To which I replied, that she should keep trying and keep working at it. “Practice makes perfect” I reminded her.

A week or so later, she surprised me with the news that she could ride on her bicycle! (And her mom getting her a new bike was a good incentive too). I told her how proud I was of her that she didn’t give up and kept trying. To which she replied, “Practice keeps perfect, right, Bac Hong?” (Bac Hong is how my niece addresses me – Bac is “Aunt” and Hong is the name that my family calls me.)

Now, as an adult, we’d quickly try to correct a child and say, no, honey it’s “Practice makes perfect.” But you know what? I believe that kid is onto something! By the way, I did correct my niece, to which she responded no, it’s “Practice KEEPS perfect.” Hard-headed…hmmm…wonder where she got that from?

Think about it, practice may make perfect, but if we don’t continue to practice, it won’t “keep” perfect. That’s true for just about anything. In the office, if you don’t use an application often, you don’t easily remember how to use every function. If you don’t work out for a year, after losing weight, you’ll gain the weight back. An athlete may have made it to the pros, but he/she still needs to practice to keep their place. Our hearts are also muscles that we need to work out....to keep perfect. Loving, even though we may be hurt; showing generosity of spirit to another, even though that generosity may not be appreciated or returned – these are ways of keeping our hearts perfect.

So remember, whatever you do, practice keeps perfect!  

So how many more frogs do I need to kiss??

Last Fall, I made a conscious decision to "get back on the horse," so to speak. After being significant other-less, for 4 years, I thought it was time to see what was out there. I still wasn't so sure about being in a relationship, but certainly wanted to meet people and going out on a date here and there wouldn't be so bad, right???

The question was where and how do I meet guys? I was never one to meet guys in bars (even in my younger days); couldn't meet them at work, cause I work in a small office with all women. And I don't like dating in the workplace, anyway. Through my friends?? 99% of my friends are married and their friends are married, so that wasn't gonna work. Plus, my last relationship was someone I met through friends and I certainly didn't want to go that route again. He was so wrong for me, but I stuck it out cause I didn't want to be the bad guy and it would've been complicated to see my friends, who were also his friends. The 21st century solution? Online. (Shudder...)

I'd tried eHarmony a few years ago and it'd been an epic fail -- subscribed for a year and went out on one date, which was an epic fail itself! LOL At the time, I'd thought that date was the worst ever in my history of first dates...well, I stand corrected, which is a story for another post.

Meeting people online is a commitment of your time, money, and emotions. It's risky and so far, I haven't reaped any rewards for this risk. Aside from great stories to share with friends! But I'm a "glass half-full" kind of gal and I will try to find the humor in a situation. So I boldly went where so many others have already gone before...to find the prince among all the frogs...out in cyberspace.

So...I've been a little remiss about this blogging thing....

In my defense, my job gets super crazy busy from end of February to mid June....but I do think of posts often and jot down ideas/concepts when they come to me. :)

I had breakfast with two of my gal pals yesterday at Lola (in the Heights, which is a cute great place for breakfast, btw) and I regaled them with my frontline war stories of dating. Both said you really need to write this all down or blog about it...we'd follow you. LOL  Other friends have said the same. I really hadn't intended for this blog to be about my dating "adventures" at 40, but after thinking about it, I will share my war stories, because they are too damn funny not to share. Don't worry, this blog won't be completely about dating...

I'm still working on fun & fabulous...it's a work in progress, which I've realized will extend beyond my 40th year! :)

40 = Change

So I've officially been 40 for about 3 months now, and in those almost 90 days, I've spent a lot of time reflecting on what exactly 40 means to me.  Don't get me wrong, I EMBRACED turning 40!  The idea of turning 40 intrigued me.  People asked me what was so special about 40?  For lack of a better word, I'm going to say it's "freeing."  I feel free to start over and redefine my life and my reason for doing so?  I turned 40.  Enough said.  This was the complete opposite of how I felt and behaved when I turned 30, which was, to sum it up in one word, "depressed."  And I had a lot of fun celebrating turning 40...ask my sister! LOL  (The celebration continues in Summer 2011, when I take my Greece trip!)

I remembered enjoying writing and so I wanted to put these thoughts and reflections, that have been swirling around in my head, into written word.  Not out of narcissism or to boost my ego, but to have something for posterity, perhaps?  I also wanted to share these thoughts and reflections with my friends, many of whom turned 40 the same year I did, or will be turning 40 soon.  (Birds of a feather flock together??)  And hopefully, they'll share their own thoughts and reflections.  And my friends, who are well into their 40's and beyond, I want to hear from you too! :)

From my Bible class in my junior year of high school (went to Catholic school), I remember that the number 40 symbolizes change.  And that's what the age of 40 has come to mean to me - a change, a transformation.  Recently, I've encountered "signs," if you will, that maybe I'm on the right path.  I met a lady, who is the publisher of a local magazine called Change, and she mentioned to me that she named the magazine such because of Gandhi's quote "Be the change you wish to see in the world."  On a side note, I happen to share a birth date with that auspicious gentleman, Mahatma Gandhi.  Also recently, I attended a mini-seminar entitled "Finding the Transformative Power Within," which had more to do with spiritual transformation, but this spiritual transformation can produce actions of change.  All around me, I encountered "change" in one form or another.  

You're thinking wait a minute, wasn't this blog about being Fun and Fabulous 40???  This is some weighty stuff she's written here.  Trust me there will be fun posts, because I like to find the humor in things!  I just wanted to share a little of what I'd like my 40th year to be about -- change.  Change in my attitude, in my actions, in my outlook, and maybe, just maybe, the change in me will help to make a change in the world somehow, no matter how small.